The last visit

I hate to say goodbye, it is an odd feeling, when you can’t just pick up the phone and hear a friendly voice on the other side.

Around Easter in 2015, I got sick, not just sick, but real sick. I felt this was it, my body was so tired and exhausted, I just wanted to give up. I told my son one evening he came home. The next he called my dad and told him what I had said the evening before, and my dad called me right after I had visit with the doctor.

My dad got very upset, said; no, it is my turn, I can’t deal with anyone else making it to heaven’s door, before me. I am old and tired, and I want to be the next one to leave.

We changed the subject, and he asked me to show him my roses, and I did. I took my computer and while on skype I showed him, how most of my rose bushes was in full bloom.

Each day, we continued this, and each day we walked around out in the back yard to look at flowers, and each day, we ended up with “Lets talk again tomorrow”

After a week or so, I did not hear from him in a couple of days. I thought nothing more of it, he had been busy, and have not had the time to visit.

The same night I woke up, with my dad standing right next to my bed, and I said: What are you doing here, you are supposed to be home in bed sleeping, or out with your friends.

He smiled and put his hand on my arm, I could smell him, a light scent of dad, and I felt, as I was back as a little girl cuddling in his arms.

I could feel the pain in my chest, like, when someone is going on a long journey, and you were not going to see them for a while. I looked at him, and said are you sure? He said yes; It is time for me to leave, I need to go, I just want to come and say goodbye.

I said to him I understood, and he stayed for a while, until I went back to sleep.

In the morning, when I woke up. I txt my son, to see if he had been talking with grandpa.

He wrote back, Yes, he said hello. I thought well, what was all this about then? What was he doing in my bedroom if he was just fine?

Two days later, I got a call from my son while he was in school, grandpa is in the hospital.

I didn’t know what to think, so I called my son, to understand what and when, and he said it had just happened, but how, I talked with my dad two days ago, in the middle of the night?

I called the hospital and they told he what was going on. Should I travel over there to be with him or should I stay here and be at my son graduation?

The nurse told me, he would not be able to pick up the phone or answer me, he was doing really bad.

I asked the nurse to just bring the phone to his ear, so I could tell him to stay strong and that I loved him, and she did.

I called again the next day, and the following day, each day the same, but by Wednesday he was actual doing so well they had moved him to another area in the hospital, I talked with him again.

I asked him, if it should come, and he said no; I am tired, and I need to leave soon. I don’t want you to come and stop it. This time it is my time. Stay with Nic so you can be at his graduation.

We continue talking for a little while, and then someone came into his room, and we said goodbye.

I agree with my brother, that he was going to call on Thursday, so I was going to wait to call him until Friday, the day my son graduated.

Thursday afternoon, my son called, he had stepped out to receive a phone call from my sister, our dad had been sleeping most of the day, even when she visits him in the afternoon.

In the evening just before 10pm my dad had woken up, sat up in his bed, looked around before laying back down to go back to sleep, the last sleep. My dad died that evening a week after he came to say goodbye. As I am sitting here writing this, I am sending him a warm thought from a little girl as he knows as his daughter. We all miss him.

2 thoughts on “The last visit

    1. Thank you, Gregory, it can be so hard to say goodbye.

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